Chapter 732: A Friendship in Times of Adversity (Part )

Being hugged tightly by Zhao Xin, smelling the familiar yet unfamiliar fragrance on her body, feeling her care for him, a long-lost tranquility and steadiness made Liu Xunyi deeply intoxicated and unable to extricate himself.

"Suddenly one day, I found myself living in a vague and illusory dream. What I thought and did was just a self-righteous opinion. All the enthusiasm, all the efforts, all the contributions and even all the achievements... were simply a self-deception. From the beginning to the end, I was like a cricket trapped in a bamboo cage, thinking that there was the 'sky' there, but in fact I was just a frog at the bottom of a well, sitting in the well and looking at the sky." Liu Xunyi leaned his head gently on Zhao Xin's shoulder, muttering to himself in a trance, "When I accidentally got out of the bamboo cage, I found that my food, clothing, housing, transportation, joys, sorrows, anger, life and death were actually a joke. I was just a poor bug in someone else's hand. No matter how hard I worked in the bamboo cage, it was just a game of 'cricket fighting' in the end."

"If that's the case, why did you get out of the bamboo cage?" Zhao Xin gently stroked Liu Xunyi's back and said softly, "You were able to break free, which shows that you are not willing to be fooled by others, isn't it?"

"To be precise, I didn't 'get out' of the bamboo cage, but was 'thrown' out by someone." Liu Xunyi smiled contemptuously, his tone full of self-mockery, "Because my failure in a game made them feel embarrassed and even difficult, they ruthlessly abandoned me and left me to fend for myself."

"Who are they?" Zhao Xin asked, "Tianji Hou?"

"Tianji Hou... maybe he is just a cricket slightly bigger than me."

"Xun Yi, why do you have such an idea?"

"For so many years, whether in the court or in the martial arts world, whether in the Tianji Pavilion or the Xianwang Mansion, whether facing Tianji Hou or Beixian King, I have always boasted that I can rely on some cleverness and the blessing of God to do whatever I want in any place and in front of anyone, and I can calmly deal with any complex and difficult situation with ease..."

At this moment, Liu Xunyi was depressed and frustrated. He spoke slowly, but I don't know if he was talking about Zhao Xin or himself.

"I have been practicing martial arts since I was young. God has blessed me with extraordinary talents, so I can always comprehend each martial art faster than others and cope with each test more easily. In fact, Qin Wei and his men are not lazier than me, and sometimes they are even more diligent than me, but the results are always not as good as me. Even in front of the Marquis, others are not as respected as I am. From apprentice to lieutenant and then to guard, although I dare not say that it has been smooth sailing, my luck is always better than that of other people in Tianji Pavilion. Of course, my luck is not only in Tianji Pavilion, but also outside. The little prince who is flattered by everyone disdains all servants, but is willing to condescend to me. What's more, even the former Princess of the Great Song Dynasty... is very fond of me. Later, when I was doing errands for Tianji Hou and for Beixian Wang, it was the same. . Although I have experienced many twists and turns, I have repeatedly escaped danger and death, which made me subconsciously believe that I am blessed by heaven and extraordinary. This subtle "confidence" gradually paralyzed my mind, and even made me feel that all the outcomes that are beneficial to me are as if they are the result of course. I can't see Qin Wei's struggles over the years, nor can I see the hard-won achievements of others, because these things seem to be natural to me. Therefore, blind self-confidence goes deep into my bones, giving me a strong illusion that with my ability as "Liu Xunyi", I can become a famous figure both in the court and in the arena. I can be prosperous and successful. I can achieve great achievements that shake the world..."

Having said this, Liu Xunyi seemed to be deeply touched by his own naivety, and an indescribable bitter smile appeared on the corner of his mouth.

Zhao Xin listened silently to Liu Xunyi's self-reflection, neither opening her mouth to agree with him nor making any rebuttal.

"However, all the 'blessings from heaven' and 'extraordinary' that I was proud of came to an abrupt end the moment I returned to Lin'an. It seemed that overnight, I went from being a hero admired by everyone to a traitor despised by everyone, and from being a meritorious official surrounded by flowers and brilliance to a rat crossing the street that everyone wanted to beat." Liu Xunyi continued, "Both the court officials and the tyrants in the world regarded me, Liu Xunyi, as a traitor who had lost all conscience and repaid kindness with enmity. In their eyes, I was a masked, heartless villain who was sweet-mouthed but treacherous. I am a traitor who has no king or father, is unkind and unjust, and a scum with a heart of a hawk and claws of a goose. No one in the martial arts world believes me, and everyone in the court is on guard against me. I live a humble life, even worse than a dog... What martial arts, what talent, what courage and wisdom, what loyalty, all become useless and worthless in the face of the coldness of human feelings and the fickleness of the world. What does it matter if I have great martial arts? What does it matter if I have extraordinary talent? What does it matter if I am loyal? In the end, I am still a puppet manipulated by others? A dead soul trampled on by others?"

"Xunyi, I know you've been wronged, but why do you have to give up on yourself..."

"In the past, I was old-fashioned and ignorant, and I was being played around by others without knowing it. When I gradually tasted the cruelty of fame and fortune, and tried to fight back with my self-satisfied martial arts and talent, I found that the 'capital' I had worked so hard to accumulate was so vulnerable. Not only could I not get back what I had lost, but even to see the woman I loved... I had to wait for an accident and luck. Xin'er, I can fly over eaves and walls, but I can't jump over the high walls of the palace. I can split gold and break stones, but I can't break the shackles of secular rules. I was able to fight my way out of the thousands of troops last night, but what was the result? Today I still have to send you to the grassland and watch you marry another man. I can't even protect the woman I love, so what's the use of having martial arts?"

Liu Xunyi's words revealed the depression and pain he had experienced in the past few months, as well as the endless sadness and grievances.

Isn't it the same for Zhao Xin? She felt the same way and her heart was broken without knowing when, and she burst into tears.

"If the world is compared to a chessboard, everyone in the world is a chess piece." Zhao Xin smiled with tears in her eyes, her tone was extremely sad. "You only think that you are a poor cricket, but you don't know that you are also holding a bamboo cage in your hand. Not only you and me, I am afraid that everyone in the world is like this. You are in the palm of Tianji Hou, and Tianji Hou is also in the palm of the prime minister? The prime minister is also in the palm of the emperor, and even the emperor... may not be as free as we see. Maybe he is also trapped in the palm of someone, otherwise why would he be ashamed and humiliated, and compromise? In fact, each of us is like this, neither the highest nor the lowest, we are all inferior to the best but better than the worst. It's like a battlefield where two armies are facing each other. Some people charge forward without fear of life and death, while others stay in the rear to replenish supplies. Compared with the former's' "The first is 'normal mediocrity', and the second is 'blessing from heaven'. Among those who charge into battle, some will die, while others will survive. In comparison, dying in battle is 'normal mediocrity', while surviving by chance is 'blessing from heaven'. Among those who survived, some were seriously injured, while others were slightly injured or even unscathed. In this comparison, the seriously injured are 'normal mediocrity', while those with slight injuries or no injuries are also 'blessing from heaven'. Xunyi, it's the same with you. Compared with some people, you may be far ahead, but compared with others, you are far away. This is the cycle of nature, and no one can change it. Don't you martial artists often say this? There is a saying that 'there is always someone stronger than the strong, and there is always someone higher than the other'. Why can't you understand such a simple truth?"

Zhao Xin's words were like a refreshing rain after a long drought, which immediately shocked Liu Xunyi's heart and opened his eyes.

"Xin'er, that's why you're willing to sacrifice yourself, right?" "Blessings are interdependent, and misfortunes are interdependent." Zhao Xin shook her head slowly, "Since ancient times, how many daughters of emperors have been able to marry their loved ones? They didn't feel wronged, so how could I feel wronged? If my marriage can save the people of the Song Dynasty from the harassment of war, it will not be a grievance for me, but a great honor."

"Xin'er..."

Until this moment, Liu Xunyi suddenly realized that although he had known Zhao Xin for many years, he had never really understood her. The ideas and beliefs instilled in the children of the imperial family since childhood were completely different from those of the children of ordinary people.

Just like Liu Xunyi who grew up in Tianji Pavilion and was instilled with the idea of ​​"being loyal to Tianji Hou" since childhood.

This is a subtle influence that may not be seen on a daily basis, but once you encounter major issues and storms, you will definitely follow the ideas and beliefs that have long been ingrained in your bones and blood, and no one and nothing can easily change you.

Zhao Xin may be a weak woman, but the royal ideology imprinted deep in her heart is proud and unwavering.

Perhaps even Zhao Xin herself didn't know this. Everything was just her choice following her heart.

In the choice between "love" and "the interests of the country", Zhao Xin finally chose to sacrifice her life for justice. Although she is as good as a man, she deserves praise. But in terms of love between men and women, she is far more rational, more determined, and more cruel than men.

He is not only cruel to Liu Xunyi, but also to himself.

"Xunyi, you and I understand each other, so there is no need for either of us to pretend to be heartless." Zhao Xin held Liu Xunyi's cheeks with both hands, her eyes sparkling with tears and full of tenderness, "I know your character, and you know my tenderness. Even if we pretend, we can't hide it from each other. Instead of wronging ourselves and deceiving each other, and parting with hatred, it is better to complete the last journey openly and bury the most sincere feelings for each other in the bottom of our hearts, leaving them as a hope for the rest of our lives, or... each of us will be on our own side, with our own sorrows and joys."

"Xin'er..."

"Xunyi, although we can't be together all our lives, day and night, but at least we still depend on each other now. I don't care about eternity, I only care about the days with you, even if it's just one day, one hour, one moment, one breath... I will be satisfied." Every word and every sentence of Zhao Xin is like a drop of water wearing away a stone, moistening things silently, gradually melting Liu Xunyi's rock-hard heart, "Promise me, forget all the sorrows and sadness, and don't try to shake each other's will. Cheer up, restore the high-spirited and carefree you of the past, and accompany me happily to the end of the journey, okay?"

……

　Today, I'm using Liu Xunyi's mouth to complain, so it shouldn't be considered as using public power for personal gain...

　　Here, I would like to thank Miss Zhao for her careful advice and patient advice...

　　I took some time to read the book reviews in the afternoon, and was touched by the words of encouragement and encouragement. I have already replied to the comments I saw, but I regret that I couldn't continue reading due to limited time. I would like to express my gratitude and wish everyone a happy life, more happiness than worries, more happiness than melancholy, and more laughter than sighs every day...

　　Tomorrow, I will give Liu Xunyi and Zhao Xin some "good times". After all, they have been living in worry and suffering from the beginning to now, and have not really felt worry-free and happy. I will give them the comfort they deserve, give the bloody rivers and lakes a brief peace, and give myself an explanation without regrets...

　　
　
(End of this chapter)