Chapter 958: A Person of Sentiment (Part )

"Fearful and desperate... running away?" Liu Xunyi's eyes changed, and his expression gradually became serious. "Brother means..."

"Just imagine, a little girl of five or six years old was suddenly abducted by a stranger to a strange place, she was unfamiliar with the people and the place, she had no relatives, and all she saw were vicious and murderous desperadoes. It can be said that 'there is no one to help'. Not to mention a naive little girl, even a seven-foot-tall man... would probably be panicked and uneasy." Su He said solemnly, "Therefore, in her extremely weak, extremely frightened, and extremely helpless situation, she subconsciously chose to forget the pain and admitted that Yun Zhuiyue was her biological father. It was nothing more than... a form of self-protection. After all, according to the situation at the time, only by believing the lies that Yun Zhuiyue had woven for her could her young heart get a little comfort. As the saying goes, 'accept what comes', I think that's probably the case."

"Accept it submissively..."

Su He's words were like a sharp blade, piercing Liu Xunyi's ignorant heart, leaving it full of holes and blood. Especially the last sentence "accept what comes", which brought Liu Xunyi an unprecedented bitterness and sadness.

He never thought that Yun Jianping, who seemed lively and cheerful, was actually a poor person who "accepted everything" and that she had to cover up and disguise herself in order to protect herself.

However, Yun Jianping's "disguise" for twenty years was so vivid and lifelike that even she herself believed it and had long forgotten what was real and what was fake.

For his sister, Liu Xunyi used to feel more longing, shame, and guilt...

But today, after Su He's reminder to "accept what comes", a strong feeling of "heartache" gushed out, making Liu Xunyi, who realized it later, feel extremely upset and heartbroken.

Recalling every meeting and every conversation between him and Yun Jianping, Liu Xunyi, who was heartbroken, hated his own stupidity and numbness more and more. He hated himself for not speaking out boldly and for hesitating.
Then he thought about how he once thought Yun Jianping was living a good life, how he once felt fortunate that she had a life without worries about food and clothing, and how he once took the opportunity to comfort himself and alleviate his inner guilt... At this moment, Liu Xunyi really wished he could kill himself with a knife.

If you think about it carefully, no matter why Yun Zhuiyue raised Yun Jianping, his care for Yun Jianping could never compare to the love a brother has for his sister.

Such a simple truth, why does Su He need to remind me?

Thinking of this, Liu Xunyi, filled with remorse, suddenly punched himself in the head and said angrily: "I am as stupid as a pig, so stupid, I am not worthy of being Yu'er's brother..."

"Xunyi, in fact, your sister has been waiting for you. Maybe... she doesn't even know it herself." Su He grabbed Liu Xunyi's wrist and said word by word, "But I dare to assert that she has been waiting for you since the day you separated outside the Xingyuan granary in Luzhou. Waiting for you to find her, waiting to reunite with you, waiting... for you to take her home."

"Yu'er..."

"When you give her enough sense of security, when she is sure that she will never be separated from you again, 'Yun Jianping' can open her heart, tear off the mask she has been wearing for twenty years, and return to her true self. She will become the real... 'Liu Xunyu'."

Su He's words were full of pearls, and Liu Xunyi could no longer suppress his complicated emotions. His eyes were shaking with grief and anger, and his whole body was trembling. Although he didn't say a word, the tears that flowed down were enough to speak more than a thousand words.

"Qin Wei can betray you, Zhao Xin can leave you, but Liu Xunyu... is connected to you by blood. You will be brother and sister for life, brother and sister who are connected by blood even if your bones are broken." Looking at Liu Xunyi who was unable to control her feelings, Su He's eyes turned red and she sighed, "Everyone in the world has caused you to lose everything, you can take revenge on everyone in the world. But your sister should never... bear the consequences. After all, she is innocent!"

"Brother, I understand your intentions!"

Liu Xunyi wiped away her tears, grabbed Su He's arm with her backhand, and said with a solemn oath: "I will find Yu'er. No matter how much it costs, I will wake her up and let her never have to endure the pain of separation again in her life."

"Xunyi, I am very pleased that you can understand my feelings."

"I understand big brother's intention, but do you know my intention...big brother?" Liu Xunyi stared at Su He, who seemed relieved, with nervous eyes, and said in a serious tone, "Why did I insist on staying in Mohe Horse Farm? The reason is that I don't want big brother to humiliate me. During this period of time, we have been avoiding talking about this matter, but in fact, everyone knows it tacitly..."

"Looking for clothes!"

Su He seemed to know what Liu Xunyi wanted to say, and resolutely interrupted him by "persuading him with emotion and reason", and pushed away Liu Xunyi's hand that was holding his arm without leaving a trace, pretending to smile nonchalantly: "I am different from you, you are Han Chinese, and I am Mongolian. You can do the same thing, but I can't. What you do is a 'merit', and what I do is a 'fault'. Therefore, I stay here not to humiliate myself, but to reflect on myself..."

"Reflect on yourself?" Liu Xunyi looked surprised. "Brother, what did you do wrong? Why do you need to reflect on yourself?"

"On the grassland... there are only men who died in battle, not men who admit defeat." Su He said bitterly, "Admitting defeat is something that only spineless cowards would do, especially admitting defeat to a foreign race... Therefore, after the 'Nadam Festival', Su can no longer gain a foothold in the grassland. Not to mention that the Khan and the prince will not forgive me, even I... can't face it..." "If that's the case, why did big brother help me in the first place?"

"I didn't help you. The duel that night was very fair. I really didn't want to fight you to death, and I really didn't defeat you..."

"Then swearing brotherhood..."

"Whether we are sworn brothers or not, I am several years older than you. This is an indisputable fact." Su He said righteously, "What's more, you have always called me 'Brother Su'. We have long been brothers in name and in spirit."

"Let's not talk about the past, let's just talk about the present." Liu Xunyi waved his hand, "Are you really willing to bury your skills here? Do you really want to hide here and raise horses for the rest of your life?"

"This is Su's fate..."

"Bullshit fate!" Seeing Su He was discouraged, Liu Xunyi was furious, and his words became more and more sharp. "The Su He of the past would never follow the crowd, and would never find excuses to hide his ambitions. Where is the Su He who was upright and fearless? Where is the Su He who faced danger and regarded death as life? Where is the Su He who was as energetic as the sun and as high as the sky? You and I are sworn brothers. Su He is my big brother for one day and he will be my big brother for the rest of his life. If I make you feel helpless and heartbroken because of me, then... I am willing to die to apologize, and I only hope that you can regroup and make a comeback."

"Absolutely not!" Su He quickly grabbed the indignant Liu Xunyi and said urgently, "If you commit suicide, how can I dare to live in vain?"

"I, Liu Xunyi, have worshipped two elder brothers in my life. One is Su He, and the other is Lin Fangda." Liu Xunyi was deeply moved and shed silent tears, muttering to himself, "They treated me sincerely and were loyal to me. But I... happened to hurt them the most. They were imprisoned because of me and survived in the cracks. They were blamed and criticized because of me. They were disgraced because of me. Now, I have let one down, and I really don't want to let the other down... Good deeds are not rewarded, maybe it is the cruelty and ruthlessness of the world, but this kind of bastard must not happen to me, Liu Xunyi, otherwise I will be a despicable and shameless bastard who is worse than pigs and dogs..."

"Looking for clothes..."

"Actually, there is something I have been holding back in my heart." Before Su He could speak, Liu Xunyi's eyes suddenly condensed and he said angrily, "I know that big brother feels guilty towards the Mongolian Khan, Hule and even the Mongolian tribes. I also know that I am powerless and cannot easily change big brother's mind. However, I have to say this today no matter what, even if it is not in accordance with etiquette, even if big brother resents me, I have to say it! Because... this is what I really think."

Su He frowned and asked curiously, "What do you want to say?"

"I want to say... Big Brother is worthy of Mongolia, and it is Mongolia that has failed Big Brother."

"This……"

"I am not making empty statements, nor am I exaggerating. These are the painful lessons I have personally experienced. I really don't want you to follow in my footsteps." Liu Xunyi made up his mind and told them everything he had in mind. "A few months ago, I was a loyal minister and good general of the Song Dynasty. I have warned myself hundreds, thousands, and tens of thousands of times that I must be determined to fight for the Song Dynasty and die for the emperor. However, in the eyes of the court, we loyal ministers are nothing more than chess pieces at the mercy of others. We are used and guarded on weekdays. We went through life and death and made great contributions to the court, so they praised us constantly. But once we make a mistake or do something that they don't like, we 'loyal ministers and good generals' will be killed immediately. When we become "good-for-nothings" or even "traitors", the imperial court will look down on us, find excuses to exclude us, and accuse us of crimes. What's worse, when faced with important decisions of life and death, they would rather go against their conscience and confuse right and wrong than pay the slightest price for us chess pieces. When they are prosperous, they will cook the rabbits and cook the dogs, and hide the bows when the birds are gone. When they are in decline, they will raise an army to punish them and punish them severely. The insidiousness, viciousness, treachery, and ruthlessness of these power-seekers are far beyond the comprehension of the people of Jianghu. We are all human beings living in this world, but we talk about "morality", but they talk about "profit and desire". Since we have different aspirations and different ways, why should we rush to be their scapegoats? "

"Xun Yi, you..."

"Brother, those who mock and exclude you don't care whether you have 'reflected on your mistakes' or not. They just want to join in the fun with the mentality of 'when the wall falls, everyone pushes it; when the drum is broken, everyone beats it'. The evil in people's hearts often kills people without blood, which is far more terrible than the swords in your hands and mine." Liu Xunyi ignored Su He's panic and said in a barrage of words, "Forgive me for being so bold, but it is meaningless for you to stay in Mohe Horse Farm to punish yourself. On the contrary, the more you give up on yourself, the more proud, happy and happy some people are. It's great. There are countless arrogant and brave soldiers in Mongolia, and many people are scrambling to get promoted. Therefore, they don't cherish or care about you at all. As the saying goes, "A man will die for his friend." Since there is no place for you on the grassland, why do you have to feel sorry for yourself? I have experienced life and death, and have been to and fro in the gates of hell several times before I saw through the cruelty of the world. People live for a lifetime, and plants and trees only last for a autumn. Instead of committing to others, it is better to strengthen yourself. Since you can't go back to Chifengling, why don't you find another way out? In order to seek small humiliation and big stretch, and seek straightness. "

Seeing Liu Xunyi getting more and more excited, Su He's heart gradually rose to his throat, and he asked suspiciously: "Xunyi, what do you want to say? What do you mean... find another way out?"

"Leave Mohe Horse Farm and follow me!"

"where to?"

"Zhongyuan!"

……

(End of this chapter)