Chapter 1132: Secret Thoughts (I)

"You...when did you learn to be such a rogue?"

Xunzhen seemed to feel uncomfortable being stared at by Liu Xunyi's deep eyes. He usually remained calm even in the face of a catastrophe, but now he seemed a little flustered.

Especially, he felt Liu Xunyi's arms, as strong as steel bars, firmly holding his soft body. Even if Xunzhen secretly exerted all his strength, he couldn't shake them at all. Instead, he sank deeper and deeper into Liu Xunyi's arms, pressed against his broad and strong chest. Suddenly, he felt a warmth like the rising sun coming from all directions, like a surging river, stretching endlessly, like a raging flame, endlessly.

Xunzhen felt her breathing quicken and her heart was beating like a deer. No matter how hard she tried to calm herself down, her emotions were still out of control, causing waves of turmoil and ripples.

They were so close, gazing at each other. Liu Xunyi could gradually smell the intoxicating fragrance emanating from Xunzhen, and could even clearly feel the faint warmth coming towards her with every breath. Liu Xunyi, who originally just wanted to play a trick on Xunzhen, was now distracted and his thoughts were blurred without him realizing it. He stared blankly at Xunzhen's stunningly beautiful face.

So close that he could almost see the blush spreading from her cheek to her earlobe under her fair skin. He was lost in thought for a moment, his mind going blank.

They stared at each other for a long time, and Liu Xunyi slowly leaned over in a trance, and couldn't help but move towards Xunzhen's red lips and pomegranate teeth, which were slightly opened due to the uncontrollable nervousness.

"I'm not Zhao Xin!"

At the critical moment, Xunzhen's firm voice quietly resounded in Liu Xunyi's ears, instantly cheering him up and clearing his trance. At the same time, an indescribable tangle enveloped his heart, like regret, loss, confusion, and self-blame.

"I……"

"How long do you plan to hold me like this?" Facing the confused and speechless Liu Xunyi, Xunzhen regained her senses first. She looked at the shy and guilty Liu Xunyi with her beautiful eyes, and suddenly smiled, "Is this how you Han men treat weak women? You hug me whenever you want, and you hug me whenever you want. Does this count as... flirting with her?"

"Yes...I'm sorry..."

Gradually realizing that he had lost his composure, Liu Xunyi quickly put Xunzhen down, and then stood there at a loss like a child who had made a mistake. If he admitted his mistake, he was afraid that the more he explained, the worse it would be. If he did not admit his mistake, it would be even worse, for he was afraid that Xunzhen would misunderstand him as a person who was greedy for pleasure and lustful. For a while, he hesitated and stammered, and was unable to say the next word for a long time.

"What a Liu Xunyi, where did you learn such a despicable trick?" Xunzhen hurriedly fixed her makeup, calmed down her mood, and then took the initiative to tease her to ease the embarrassment, "If it weren't for me, I'm afraid other girls would have fallen for your tricks and boarded your pirate ship long ago."

"What evil plot? What pirate ship? I... didn't mean it." Liu Xunyi hastily explained, "Seeing that you were not giving in, I had no choice but to resort to this desperate measure. I, Liu Xunyi, swear to heaven that I had no intention of offending you, but... I was a little reckless."

"No offense?" Xunzhen raised her eyebrows, pretending to be dissatisfied, "Are you mocking me for being a woman and having no charm to attract men?"

"That was not what I meant……"

"So I am very charming, and that's why you were so confused and infatuated with me just now?"

"This……"

Xunzhen's barrage of questions made the uneasy Liu Xunyi speechless and confused.

"Liu Xunyi, you shouldn't be like this!" Suddenly, Xunzhen put away the playful expression on his face and his tone became extremely serious.

"I really shouldn't have done that! I was too abrupt..."

"Your injuries haven't healed yet, how can you take risks?"

"what?"

Hearing this, Liu Xunyi was stunned. He thought Xunzhen was blaming him for being so rude and teasing her, but he didn't expect that Xunzhen was talking about something else.

"You have been seriously injured during the anti-traitor event. How dare you practice martial arts without permission? What if your internal energy is disordered or your physical strength is insufficient, so you fail to use martial arts properly and fall into the cold water?" Xunzhen reproached seriously, "Didn't Miss Pan warn you to recuperate well and not act rashly?"

"Miss Pan warned me repeatedly, but I... didn't listen to her." Seeing Xunzhen focusing on his injuries, Liu Xunyi couldn't help but feel moved, and his eyes looking at Xunzhen became softer, "I treated you so well, but you didn't bear grudges. I... am really ashamed." "Don't get me wrong!" Xunzhen's eyes changed slightly, and he turned his back hurriedly, as if he didn't dare to let Liu Xunyi see his expression. He pretended to be indifferent and explained, "I care about you because you are the deputy leader of Xilu Wuzong. We have put in so much effort and invested so much capital in you, and now we haven't seen any returns. How can we bear to let you die? What if something happens to you, won't we lose a lot on this deal?"

"That's right!" Liu Xunyi knew that Xunzhen was not sincere, but he did not reveal it. He just said, "Having said that, I still want to say sorry to you."

"I'm not a woman from the Central Plains, so I won't care too much about your recklessness just now..." Xunzhen pretended to be free and easy, and waved gently at Liu Xunyi without turning his head.

"I'm sorry, not because of what I did just now." Liu Xunyi stared at Xunzhen's back, a hint of depression appeared between his brows. After a long silence, he finally made up his mind and spoke softly, "I'm sorry because... I mistook you... for Xin'er, and almost made a mistake."

With just these words, Xunzhen's expression froze instantly. Even though her back was facing Liu Xunyi, her slightly trembling body still betrayed her instant shock, and perhaps... a little bit of loss.

What Xunzhen heard was Liu Xunyi's heartfelt apology, but what she didn't see was that when Liu Xunyi said this, his heart also felt like it was being pressed down by a huge rock, so that his face was deathly still and his eyes were filled with tears.

Perhaps, they understood each other's feelings, and at the same time, they tried their best to restrain the complex emotions that gradually confused even themselves. Because they knew that Liu Xunyi and Xunzhen were from two different worlds from the beginning, and their intersection began with exploitation and would end in betrayal. Therefore, facing an emotional debt that would never have a result, with their intelligence and wisdom, how could they seek to end their own lives?
"Xin'er? I didn't expect that after so long, you still call me so intimately." Xunzhen quickly put aside the distracting thoughts in his mind, slowly turned around, and his words and actions had regained their calm and confident state. He teased, "Your Xin'er is now the princess of Mongolia. Luoyang City is Mongolian territory after all, you'd better be careful of what you say."

"Have I not caused enough trouble?" Liu Xunyi smiled nonchalantly, "With a wise helper like you by my side, I am not afraid even if I cause a huge disaster."

"Do you really think I'm a living Bodhisattva who will grant any request?" Seeing Liu Xunyi being so shameless, Xunzhen frowned and pretended to be angry. "You were lonely and helpless before, so helping you was a favor. But now you are a different person. You are famous in the Central Plains martial arts world, rich and powerful. It seems that it is my turn to be taken care of by you. How can I clean up your mess again?"

"It's true that I've become famous, but my wealth and power... are just like a dream. What does it have to do with me?" Liu Xunyi sighed and expressed his distress. "In just a few days, everything has changed. It's as if... I am no longer myself."

"What do you mean I'm no longer myself? You're a real man, why are you so shy and coy? Just say what you want to say, don't be so mysterious!" Xunzhen walked to the stone table in the pavilion, sat down gracefully, and gestured to Liu Xunyi to sit down as well, and said something with a hint of meaning, "But, are you willing... or do you dare to tell me what's in your heart?"

"I can't really tell whether it's my true feelings or not. Even I don't know why there are some things I can't say to my close friends and relatives, but I'm willing to confide in you..."

"It seems that our Master Liu has been harboring a knot in his heart for a long time, and he has been unhappy for who knows how long." Xunzhen said jokingly, "You are willing to tell me, it is nothing more than that you regard me as an unimportant person, or you are sure that I am a cold-blooded animal who is indifferent to your sorrow and joy. As for your close friends and relatives, they are your hard-earned treasures, how can you bear to let them worry about you?"

"I……"

Having his secret thoughts revealed by Xunzhen, Liu Xunyi, who was about to deny it, suddenly felt his face turn red. He smiled at Xunzhen with a little embarrassment and shame, and said, "It's not that you are unimportant to me, nor that you are cold-blooded, it's just that... you are beautiful and intelligent, and you stay out of it, so I think you can see it more clearly."

"Beautiful and intelligent? It's not like you, Liu Xunyi, to flatter me like this." Xunzhen said bluntly, "You said I 'stayed out of it'. I guess your knot has nothing to do with Xilu Wuzong, or even... it has little to do with the Central Plains martial arts world."

"It's me!" Xunzhen's intelligence made Liu Xunyi's eyes light up, but his face was still very melancholy, as if there were thousands of sorrows lingering in his heart. He slowly sat down opposite Xunzhen, and spoke quietly with a heavy heart, "When I was fleeing as a child, Qin Wei, Yu'er and I depended on each other for survival, just to fill our stomachs and not starve to death or freeze to death. After Yu'er was lost, I entered the East Palace, just to learn a set of skills, so that I can find my sister as soon as possible. Fortunately, I was appreciated and valued by the Marquis, and I was promoted from the Golden Sword Captain to the East Palace Guard. At that time, I respected literature and martial arts, and was full of vigor and confidence that I would be able to make contributions to the court with my own abilities in this life. After that..."

"After that, you encountered the biggest obstacle in your life, Zhao Xin!" Xunzhen sneered and continued, "This princess of the Song Dynasty, who was born in a prominent family and was extremely beautiful, made you, a young and energetic girl, obsessed with her and completely changed your smooth path and destiny to rise to the top."

"Xin'er... is indeed a difficult problem destined for me, but it is definitely not my hardship." Liu Xunyi corrected stubbornly, "After all, the days when I met her, got to know her, understood her, and got along with her... are the beautiful days that I, Liu Xunyi, will never forget in my life."

"I don't know if it was beautiful, but it must have been unforgettable. Because after meeting Zhao Xin, what you pursued was no longer just the reunion of your brother and sister and making achievements, but one more thing, staying with Zhao Xin forever." Xunzhen said this with a hint of sarcasm, "What's more, this love affair surpassed finding your sister and seeking fame, and became your primary goal, right?"

"of course not……"

"Hey!" Before Liu Xunyi could explain, Xunzhen waved his hand nonchalantly to interrupt, "You know it in your heart, don't explain it to me, it has nothing to do with me."

At this point, Xunzhen raised his eyebrows slightly and changed the subject: "You said this... Are you trying to tell me that in the past, whether you were on the streets or in the court, you always had a goal that supported you to keep going. As for you now, precisely because you are rich and powerful, and have no illness or disaster, you have lost your backbone and are confused, not knowing where to go next?"

"That's right!" Seeing Xunzhen understood his inner thoughts, Liu Xunyi showed a happy expression and nodded repeatedly. "Before, I fell out with the court, and was plotted against by Qingfeng and his daughter. I was hunted down by various people. At that time, I had no time to think about it. Being alive was a blessing in disguise. But now, my life is no longer in danger. Not only did I clear my grievances, but I also found my sister who had been separated for many years, and even my own life experience... For me, everything today can be said to be perfect. 'Those who survive a great disaster will have good fortune in the future' has been fulfilled in me. God grants people's wishes, and I am naturally full of joy and infinite happiness. But in addition to joy, I gradually became confused. As you said, now I... don't know where to go?"

……

(End of this chapter)